Beginnings

So, inspired by a bold woman last night, I have decided to play in the public sphere. I am interested in the whole process of asking for help. My hunch is it is not an easy thing to do. In fact, I know it is not an easy things to do!

My own story is of learning early on that there was little response to my requests for help. I figured the best way forward was to keep quiet and work things out for myself. This means I am brilliantly self-reliant, but it can feel terribly lonely or isolated when I need support or don’t know what to do. Asking can be pretty tough and it can feel really uncomfortable reaching out to others for even basic needs.

I decided to study this and have been on the trail for a long time in different ways.

More recently I’ve been interviewing people on their experience of asking for help and this is leading to some really interesting questions and areas of curiosity. I thought I would try writing about some of what I am learning and see if it has interest to others.

For a beginning, the big paradox seems to be tolerating vulnerability. Asking for help can feel exposing. We can fear being seen as weak, or experience a kind of backlash, inside ourselves, that tells us we are a burden, or shames us in some way. This can keep us imprisoned in a self-reliant or helpless loop. Reaching out involves risk, and taking risks has a whole mix of anxieties and excitements attached! It means being bold, daring to make mistakes, potential rejection and loss. There is also the danger of getting what we ask for. It really is a complex navigation.

I plan to begin to write more about these processes and see what happens.